


The Lord of the Collars: The Fellowship of the Collar

by Hobbit4Lyfe



Series: Stuffed Animal Tolkien [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 07:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 5,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5197622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit4Lyfe/pseuds/Hobbit4Lyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to The Hobbit: The Stuffed Animal Edition. Peter Jackson-based musical. I don't own the lyrics used. Moved from FanFiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scene 1

(When the play starts again, Galadriel comes out on the side of the stage. Music starts.)  
Galadriel: Three Collars for the Elven-kings under the stars. Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their realms of stone. Nine for Mortal Men doomed to perish, in the Land of Mordork, where shadows lie. (Curtain opens to Mordork.) One Collar to rule them all. One Collar to find them. One Collar to bring them all and in the darkness bind them in the Land of Mordork, where shadows lie.  
(Galadriel walks off. Sauron comes in.)  
Galadriel: (Offstage.) This is Mordork, in the Second Age, long before Bilbo found the One Collar.  
Sauron: Hello. I am the Dark Lord Sauron. Today, I am bored. What should I do to have fun? (Paces, thinking. Gets an idea and stops.) Aha! I've got it! I will take over the world! (Paces, thinking again.) The Men have their Collars. The Elves have theirs. So do the Dwarves. When the Men made theirs, they were going to die, so I'll turn them into Collarwraiths. Wait! (Stops.) I'll turn them into Collarwraiths! That's it! I'll make the One Collar to rule them all!  
(He goes offstage.)  
Sauron: (Offstage.) No. That's not it.  
(A collar flies across the stage.)  
Sauron: (Offstage.) Not that one, either.  
(Another flies across the stage.)  
Sauron: (Offstage.) Nope.  
(Another flies across the stage.)  
Sauron: (Offstage.) Aha! I have it! (Evil laugh.)  
(The curtain closes. Galadriel goes back to where she was.)


	2. Scene 2

Galadriel: After years, Sauron started to rule many lands. The Free Lands of Men and Elves were rebellious and went to war with Sauron and his orcs. In the end, Sauron wiped out many Men and Elves. As Isildur's father, Elendil, the king, was dying, Isildur took his father's sword and cut the Collar and Sauron's head off. Isildur took the Collar. Three years later, the Collar betrayed Isildur in a river. He was killed by orcs when he was seen. The Collar stayed at the bottom of the river for the rest of the Second Age and most of the Third. (The curtain opens to two people similar to hobbits, fishing in a boat.) One day, two friends were fishing. Here is what happened when the Collar was found.  
(Galadriel goes off.)  
Beagol: Look, Sméagol! I caught a fish!  
(He starts tugging on his fishing pole and is dragged in.)  
Sméagol: Beagol? Where are you?  
(Beagol scrambles up the side of the river. Sméagol inches the boat towards Beagol.)  
Beagol: Pretty collar!  
Sméagol: (Now right behind Beagol.) Let me have that.  
Beagol: Why?  
Sméagol: It's my birthday.  
Beagol: You already have a present from me!  
(Beagol and Sméagol fight for the Collar. Sméagol wins and strangles Beagol to death.)  
Sméagol: Yay! This collar is mine! Gollum! Gollum!  
(The curtain closes. Galadriel is back.)


	3. Scene 3

Galadriel: After years of living in a cave in the Misty Mountains, in the middle of Woodmirk, Gollum was betrayed by the Collar. The Collar wasn't expecting who was going to find it next: A hobbit of the Shire named Bilbo Baggins, a week into his journey to Pail and back.  
(The curtain opens. Galadriel backs up.)  
Bilbo: Where am I? (Looking around.) Hey! Is that a collar? (Goes up to it.) It is! I think I'll keep it in my pocket, even though I don't think I have a pocket. (Puts the collar away.) I think I'll go explore.  
(The curtain closes. Galadriel steps forwards.)  
Galadriel: It is now 63 years later, on Bilbo's 111th birthday and Frodo's 33rd birthday.


	4. Scene 4

(Galadriel walks off. The curtain opens. Bilbo is on the side of the stage, writing. Music starts. Hobbits are doing everyday things. Small-role hobbits are on. Sam is on the other side, working on a garden box.)  
Bilbo: Concerning hobbits. Hobbits are small folk. We love peace and quiet, along with good farmland. More than that, we love food.  
(Sam walks off.)  
Bilbo: We wear no shoes, since our feet are very, very furry, and their bottoms are very leathery.  
(He closes the book and walks off. As the music ends, hobbits walk off and Frodo walks on the side of the stage and props himself up, half asleep. Music ends. Someone knocks on the door of Baggy Pants.)  
Bilbo: (Offstage.) Frodo, get the door. (Another knock.) The door, Frodo. (Another knock.) FRODO! WOULD YOU GET THE DOOR? Where is that boy?  
(Gandalf comes in, driving a horse-drawn cart and whistling. Frodo wakes up and runs up to Gandalf.)  
Frodo: You're late.  
Gandalf: Wizards are never late, and they are never early. We arrive when we mean to and precisely on time, Frodo Baggins.  
Frodo: Gandalf! (Jumps in the cart next to Gandalf.) Couldn't you have put a pillow there?  
Gandalf: How is Bilbo doing?  
Frodo: He's been acting strange lately. He's been shutting himself in the study and looking at old maps. I've tried to ask him about it, but he says he's working on his book. I think he's using that as an excuse. He's up to something, Gandalf. I just know it. By the way, ever since Bilbo went to Pail, you've been labeled a disturber of the peace and chocolate covered cherries.  
Gandalf: Why the cherries?  
Frodo: I don't know.  
(Hobbit children come in.)  
Children: Gandalf! Gandalf!  
(Gandalf pretends not to notice. Frodo and Gandalf go offstage. Fireworks fly across the stage.)  
Children: Yay!  
(The curtain closes.)


	5. Scene 5

Merry and Pippin: (Offstage.) What about us?  
Frodo: (Offstage.) Be patient.  
Merry: (Offstage.) We have been for the last act and the last four scenes!  
Pippin: (Offstage.) We have?  
Bilbo: (Offstage.) Keep waiting.  
(The curtain opens. Bilbo is inside Baggy Pants. Gandalf walks up to the door and knocks.)  
Bilbo: If you aren't on party business, GO AWAY!  
Gandalf: You won't even let Gandalf in?  
Bilbo: Gandalf? (Comes out of Baggy Pants.) Gandalf!  
(The curtain closes.)  
Bilbo: Come in, Gandalf, Would like some tea or anything?  
Gandalf: Just tea. (BANG!) Ow!  
Bilbo: Are you alright?  
Gandalf: I'm (BANG!) fine!


	6. Scene 6

(The curtain opens to a nighttime party at Baggy Pants. Gandalf's fireworks are going off. Merry and Pippin are on one side of the stage, trying to get a large firework out of Gandalf's cart. On the other side, Bilbo is entertaining hobbit children by telling the story of his journey to Pail and back. Frodo is entertaining others by acting like a duck. Merry and Pippin take the firework closer to the side of the stage. Gandalf is setting off fireworks center stage. He leaves the stage and comes back with a large cake with a lot of candles.)  
Everybody but Bilbo: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Bilbo. Happy birthday to you.  
Frodo: What about me?  
Bilbo: It's your birthday, too.  
Merry: (As lighting rocket.) Is it in the ground?  
Pippin: I thought you were going to put it in.  
Merry: I told you to!  
Pippin: You did?  
(The rocket explodes in their faces. Gandalf sneaks over and grabs them by their ears.)  
Merry and Pippin: AAAAHHHH!  
(The rocket flies by, now a dragon.)  
Frodo: Bilbo! Look out for that dragon!  
Bilbo: There hasn't been a dragon here since who knows when. (Rocket flies by Bilbo.) I stand corrected.  
(Rocket bursts. Everyone cheers.)  
Gandalf: Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, I should have known you two were up to no good.  
(The two run off. Everyone goes back to what they were doing, except for Merry and Pippin.)  
Bilbo: OK, everyone! Time for the speech!  
(Everyone stops and watches Bilbo.)  
Bilbo: Hello, Bagginses, Brandybucks, Tooks, and everyone else. Yes, you too, Lobelia. (Everyone cheers.) I'm sorry to say that THIS IS THE END. I AM LEAVING! GOODBYE!  
(He puts on the collar and runs offstage. The curtain closes.)


	7. Scene 7

(When the curtain opens, Bilbo is inside Baggy Pants, completely visible.)  
Bilbo: Works every time.  
(Gandalf pops up.)  
Gandalf: I know you're going back to Ruffendell, Bilbo. Take whatever you like, but LEAVE THE COLLAR FOR FRODO!  
Bilbo: Why? I found it! It's mine! My own! My… my precious!  
Gandalf: I've heard that before, only not from you. Hurry, before anyone sees you, especially one of those Sackville-Bagginses. Wait! Did you leave the collar? Where is it?  
Bilbo: Oh. I must've left it in my invisible pocket. OK. (Drops it in the middle of the floor.) I'll leave it. Goodbye, Gandalf. I hope I'll see you again. Don't forget to keep an eye on Frodo for me.  
Gandalf: Two, when I get the chance.  
(Bilbo leaves.)  
Bilbo: (While leaving.) Tell Frodo that I said goodbye.  
(After Gandalf walks to the opposite side of the stage as the door, Frodo comes in.)  
Frodo: He's gone, hasn't he?  
Gandalf: Yes, he has. I must, too.  
Frodo: Why? You got here only three hours ago!  
Gandalf: I know, but there are some things that I need to find out.  
Frodo: Bilbo left his old collar, hasn't he?  
Gandalf: Yes. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.  
(Gandalf walks through the door, as Bilbo and Frodo did. The curtain closes.)  
Frodo: (Offstage.) OK. Let's just skip to the part at the Green Dragon two months later.


	8. Scene 8

(The curtain opens to inside the Green Dragon. Merry and Pippin are standing on a table, dancing and singing. Sam is talking with Ted Sandyman, Mr. Sandyman, and his gaffer at a table. Frodo is serving apple juice. Rosie is standing over to the side, cleaning a cup.)  
Merry and Pippin: Hey ho! To the bottle I go, to heal my heart and drown my woe! Rain may fall and wind may blow, but there still be many miles to go. Sweet as the sound of the pouring rain or the stream that falls from hill to plain, better than rain or rippling brook…  
Pippin: …Is a mug of beer inside this Took!  
Mr. Sandyman: I say that a full-grown hobbit shouldn't go running off, visiting elves, running off dragons, dealing with dwarves, and coming back and scaring everybody to death! Not to mention being friends with that wizard, Gandalf. Those rumors of Mr. Bilbo's wealth are plain ol' poppycock.  
Ted: Yeah, he was a cracked one, all right…  
Sam: WHAT? YOU TWO ARE THE CRACKED ONES!  
Gaffer: Pay them no mind, Sam.  
Ted: (As if he didn't hear Sam.) …And Mr. Frodo's cracking already, too.  
Frodo: (Comes over, obviously eavesdropping.) And I'm proud of it, too.  
Sam: Maybe you are a little bit crazy, Mr. Frodo. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said that.  
(The curtain closes.)  
Frodo: (Offstage.) We should get going, Sam.  
Sam: (Offstage.) Drat! I was so busy with those two crazyheads, I forgot to say goodbye to Rosie!  
Frodo: (Offstage.) Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one. She'll probably forgive you.  
Sam: (Offstage.) She does?


	9. Scene 9

(The curtain opens to inside Baggy Pants. Frodo comes in and notices that something doesn't seem right. He walks halfway across the stage. Gandalf pops up, looking a little raggedy.)  
Gandalf: Is it secret? Is it safe? Where is it?  
(Frodo opens a chest and takes out an envelope. He gives the envelope to Gandalf. Gandalf throws the envelope into the fireplace while a fire is going.)  
Frodo: What was that for?  
Gandalf: Take it. (He takes the collar out with tongs.) It's cool.  
(Frodo takes the collar. Writing appears.)  
Frodo: What does this writing say?  
Gandalf: It's in the Elvish language of Mordork. I daren't speak it here, or anywhere, for that matter. In our language, it translates to "One Collar to rule them all. One Collar to find them. One Collar to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." It is part of an old poem. A very old poem. This Collar was made by the Dark Lord Sauron. If he gets it again, then all the good in the world will be destroyed.  
(Something is heard outside the window. Gandalf sticks his staff out the window and hits something. Sam screams. Gandalf pulls him in.)  
Gandalf: Samwise Gamgee, why were you eavesdropping?  
Sam: I wasn't dropping any eaves, Mr. Gandalf, sir! There aren't any here at Baggy Pants!  
Gandalf: What did you hear?  
Sam: Just a lot about a collar and a dark lord and the end of the world, that's all. Don't turn me into something weird. I meant no harm.  
Gandalf: No, I have a better idea.  
(The curtain closes. When it reopens, Frodo and Sam are walking near trees, somewhere in the Shire.)


	10. Scene 10

Frodo: Sam, last night we were talking about the end of the good part of the world, not the end of the whole world.  
Sam: Good part, whole thing, all the same to me.  
Frodo: OK. Gandalf said to go the Prancing Pony in Tree.  
Sam: Where's Tree? Is it far? Will I be late for dinner?  
Frodo: I have no idea where Tree is, it's probably far, and we'll miss a lot of meals.  
Sam: Will I ever get to see Rosie again after this journey? Or what about my old gaffer?  
Frodo: It depends. We'll see.  
Sam: Depends on what?  
Frodo: It depends on if we make it back from Ruffendell alive.  
Sam: I thought you said we're going to Tree!  
Frodo: First, we're going to Tree to meet Gandalf. Then, he's taking us to Ruffendell so Elrond can decide the fate of the Collar.  
(The curtain closes.)  
Sam: (Offstage.) Are we there yet?  
Frodo: (Offstage.) We haven't even left the Shire!  
Sam: (Offstage.) Oh! Well, if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest I've been from home, even if we are still in the Shire.


	11. Scene 11

(The curtain opens. Frodo and Sam are at Farmer Maggot's. They hear faint voices.)  
Frodo: Who's out there?  
(Merry and Pippin run in with veggies. Dogs' barks can be heard offstage.)  
Pippin: Hey, Merry! It's Frodo!  
(Music starts.)  
Pippin: We'd better run!  
Sam: What'd you do this time?  
(Everyone runs. After a few minutes, the music pauses. Everyone falls onto the side of the stage, but the curtain remains open.)  
Sam: Oh, man! I think I broke something!  
(He pulls a carrot out from under him. It's broken.)  
Frodo: (Looking around.) Get off the road!  
(Nobody listens.)  
Frodo: (More sternly.) Get off the road!  
(Music restarts. One of the Black Riders comes onto the stage. The hobbits run to the far side of the stage. The lights dim and the hobbits are chased until the music ends. Near the end of the music, the hobbits cross the Buckleberry Ferry. Music ends and the curtain closes.)


	12. Scene 12

Saruman: (Offstage.) Smoke rises from the mountain of doom. The hour is late, and Gandalf Greyham rides to Isengard, seeking my council.  
(The curtain opens. Saruman enters through the door to Isengard. Gandalf enters on the other side of the stage.)  
Saruman: That is why you are here, isn't it?  
(They walk to the center of the stage, then offstage through the audience, talking in whispers. The curtain closes behind them, temporarily.)  
Saruman: You are sure of this?  
Gandalf: Completely.  
Saruman: The Collar of Power has uncovered itself?  
Gandalf: It has been in the Shire for sixty-some years! Under our, er, my, very nose!  
Saruman: Yet you did not see any sign of it? Some of the ways of the hobbits have dulled your thinking.  
Gandalf: We can still oppose Sauron. We still have time if we act quickly.  
Saruman: Time? There is no time left.  
(The curtain opens again, and they walk back onstage to inside Isengard.)  
Saruman: Sauron has become strong again. Not strong enough to become a physical thing, but still strong. He can see everything and everywhere. He has his BIG FLAMEY EYE!  
Gandalf: The Eye of Sauron…  
Saruman: Soon he will have an army large enough to take over the world.  
Gandalf: You know this how?  
(They walk over to a ball thing on a stand.)  
Gandalf: A Planter is very dangerous, Saruman.  
Saruman: Why? We shouldn't be afraid to use it.  
Gandalf: Not all of them are… uncovered. We do not know who all has them.  
Saruman: It is now later than you think. (Walks over to a chair and sits.) Sauron's forces are moving. The Three have already left Minas Morgul.  
Gandalf: The Three…?  
Saruman: They passed through here just recently, disguised as Black Riders.  
Gandalf: So, they are in the Shire…?  
Saruman: They will take the Collar and kill its bearer.  
Gandalf: Frodo!  
(Gandalf tries to exit, but Saruman closes the doors with his staff.)  
Saruman: If you do not join forces with Sauron and Saruman, you do not leave.  
(Gandalf is sent up to the top of the tower. The curtain closes.)


	13. Scene 13

(Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin enter in front of the curtain, coming to a gate, and knock on it. A Watchman looks out of a window in the gate.)  
Watchman: Who's there?  
Frodo: We're going to the Prancing Pony.  
Watchman: What are four hobbits from the Shire doing in Tree?  
Frodo: We're going to the Prancing Pony.  
Sam: Our business is our own.  
Watchman: All right, all right! Meant no offense! Supposed 'ta ask questions after dark. People've been saying there are strange things 'round here lately. Can't be too careful!  
(He opens the gate as the curtains open. The hobbits walk through the gate. The gate and the watchman go offstage. The hobbits are now in the Prancing Pony. Aragorn is sitting at the back of the room, cloaked and hooded. Mr. Butterbur is at his desk. The hobbits walk up to the desk.)  
Frodo: 'Scuse me…  
Mr. Butterbur: Good evening! What can I do ya fer? If you're looking for rooms, we have plenty of hobbit-sized rooms. Always happy to cater to hobbits, Mr.…  
Frodo: Underhill!  
Mr. Butterbur: OK… Underhill…  
Frodo: We're friends of Gandalf! Can you tell him we're here?  
Mr. Butterbur: Gandalf? Elderly guy with a long beard and a pointy hat?  
(Frodo nods.)  
Mr. Butterbur: Hasn't been here in six days!  
(The hobbits sit down at a table. Merry comes up with a large cup of apple juice.)  
Pippin: What's that?  
Merry: This is a pint!  
Pippin: It comes in pints? Cool! I want one!  
(Pippin goes over to the bar. Frodo hears him giving away their real identities, and goes over to stop him. Frodo slips and the Collar flies onto him, and he disappears. He quickly reappears, and Aragorn takes him to the side of the stage. The curtain closes temporarily.)  
Aragorn: You draw too much attention to yourself, Mr. Underhill, if that's who you really are.


	14. Scene 14

(The curtain reopens to Aragorn's room.)  
Frodo: Who are you? What do you want?  
Aragorn: A little more caution out of you. That is no random thing you carry.  
Frodo: I carry nothing.  
Aragorn: Right. I can avoid being seen, but disappearing completely is something new.  
Frodo: Again, who are you?  
Aragorn: Are you frightened?  
Frodo: Yes… maybe… no!  
Aragorn: If you are, not enough. I know what's after you.  
(Merry, Pippin, and Sam barge through the door.)  
Sam: Let him go… or… or else!  
Aragorn: You have a good heart, little hobbit, but it won't save you. You can't wait any longer for Gandalf. They're coming.  
Pippin: Who? What? What happened?  
(The Black Riders appear from the back of the audience. As they make their way through, four beds are put out in front of the audience and curtain, on stage. The curtain closes temporarily. The Black Riders get to the beds, stab at them, and realize they're empty. They leave and the beds are taken offstage. The curtain opens.)  
Frodo: Who – or what – are they?  
Aragorn: The Nazghoul. They were once great kings of men. Then Sauron gave them rings of power. Since they were so greedy, they took them, no questions asked, and fell into darkness. Now they are his slaves. They are Collarwraiths, undead. They always feel the presence of the Collar, drawn to its power. They won't stop stalking you.  
(Aragorn and the hobbits walk to the front of the stage. The curtain closes.)


	15. Scene 15

Merry: Where are we going?  
Aragorn: Into the wild.  
Merry: (To Frodo.) How do we know this "Strider" really is a friend of Gandalf?  
Frodo: If he was evil, he would look fairer and feel fouler.  
Merry: He's foul enough!  
Frodo: We are left no choice. We trust him.  
Sam: Where are we going?  
Aragorn: To Ruffendell.  
Sam: You were right, Mr. Frodo! We are going to see the elves!


	16. Scene 16

(They walk onstage. The curtain opens. The hobbits pause a minute, searching for food in their bags.)  
Aragorn: We don't stop 'til nightfall.  
Pippin: What about breakfast?!  
Aragorn: You've already had it.  
Pippin: We've had one, yes! What about second breakfast?  
Merry: Don't think he knows about it.  
(Music starts: Devo 2.0's cover of Devo's "Uncontrollable Urge.")  
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? Anything?  
Merry: Probably not.  
(As he walks offstage, Aragorn throws apples to Merry and Pippin. Merry catches his, but Pippin gets hit in the head.)  
Pippin: I got an urge, I gotta surge, and it's outta control. Got an urge, gotta purge, 'cuz I'm losin' control. Uncontrollable urge: I gotta tell you all about it. Uncontrollable urge: I gotta scream and shout it.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: He's got an uncontrollable urge.  
Pippin: I got an uncontrollable urge.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: He's got an uncontrollable urge.  
Pippin: I got an uncontrollable... Before dinner, after lunch, I get a snack attack, I need to munch. I gotta tell you all about it. I gotta scream and shout it. I got an urge, I gotta surge, and it's outta control. Got an urge, gotta purge, 'cuz I'm losin' control. Uncontrollable urge: I gotta tell you all about it. Uncontrollable urge: I gotta scream and shout it. That's right!  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: He's got an uncontrollable urge.  
Pippin: I got an uncontrollable urge.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: He's got an uncontrollable urge.  
Pippin: I got an uncontrollable... Before dinner, after lunch, I get a snack attack, I need to munch. I gotta tell you all about it. I gotta scream and shout it. I got an uncontrollable urge, I gotta tell you all about it. An uncontrollable urge, I gotta scream and shout it. I say yeah.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: He says yeah.  
Pippin: I say yeah-uh.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: Yeah-uh.  
Pippin: And I say ja.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: Ja.  
Pippin: I say yeah-uh.  
Merry, Frodo, and Sam: Yeah-uh.  
Pippin: And I say...  
(Music ends. Merry leads the hobbits to follow Aragorn.)  
Merry: (Groans.) Pippin!  
(The curtain closes.)


	17. Scene 17

When the curtain reopens, Aragorn and the hobbits are splashing through a swamp, trying to keep themselves from being bitten by massive black clouds of mosquitoes.)  
Merry: What happens when these things can't get hobbits for lunch? Do they resort to cannibalism?  
(Pippin, who is at the back of the pack, trips and splashes into the water. Merry starts cracking up instead of helping his friend up. The curtain closes temporarily.)


	18. Scene 18

(When the curtain reopens, the hobbits are still in the swamp, but now, they've stopped for the night. Aragorn walks in, apparently just haven gone hunting for food. He meets with the hobbits, who are sitting by a campfire.)  
Pippin: Oh, thank goodness you are back! We're definitely going to need that food!  
Aragorn: (Suspiciously.) Why?  
Merry: Um... Well... About that… We ate all the rest of the food we had.  
Aragorn: What?! Why?  
Pippin: I told you earlier! We're hobbits! We need food!  
Aragorn: Guys, you can't keep doing this if we're going to make it all the way to Ruffendell! We need to save the food!  
(There's a quick, awkward pause.)  
Pippin: Well, good night!  
(The hobbits move away from the fire and start to go to sleep. Aragorn face-palms and groans before sitting by the fire. Before long, he's singing to himself in Elvish. Frodo, who is apparently not asleep, takes notice.)  
Frodo: Who is she, the lady in that song?  
Aragorn: 'Tis the lay of Lúthien, the elf-maiden who gave her love to Beren, a mortal.  
Frodo: What happened to her?  
(A pause, then:)  
Aragorn: She died.  
(Aragorn turns to Frodo.)  
Aragorn: Get some sleep, Frodo.  
(The curtain closes.)


	19. Scene 19

(When the curtain reopens, Saruman is inside Isengard, standing over the Planter. A ringing telephone is heard.)  
Saruman: The power of Isengard is at your disposal, Sauron, Lord of the Earth.  
(A burst of static is heard, and then:)  
Sauron: (Offstage.) What? Hello? Who is this? I can't... I can't hear you... The reception is bad...  
Saruman: It's Saruman the White...? The Wizard...? From Isengard? You said you needed me to help you?  
SAURON: (Offstage.) Oh, hey! I'mma need you to build me an army worthy of Mordor.  
Saruman: OK, cool. I'll get right on it.  
(The sound of a telephone hanging up is heard as Saruman walks over to his throne and sits down. Three orcs walk in.)  
Orc 1: What orders from Mordor, oh, Great White Wizard? What does the Great Eye command?  
Saruman: We have work to do.  
(The curtain momentarily closes behind Saruman and the orcs as they walk to the edge of the stage. They observe as orcs run through the audience to tear down and burn trees that other orcs bring in. They leave as the curtain reopens to Gandalf at the top of the tower of Isengard. Gandalf struggles to push himself off of the floor as it starts to rain. He looks around as the orcs continue to destroy the forest surrounding the tower. The lights dim on Gandalf as Saruman and the three orcs walk out in front of the audience, weaving through the other orcs.)  
Orc 2: The trees are strong, Great White Wizard. Their roots are deep. Pulling teeth would be easier than this.  
Saruman: Rip them all down anyway.  
(Saruman and the three orcs exit. The lights come back up onstage as Gandalf leans against a pillar. The curtains close, and the orcs leave the audience, taking the trees with them.)


	20. Scene 20

(When the curtain reopens, it's the next day. Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin follow Aragorn onstage. They're about half a day away from Weathertop.)  
Aragorn: That over there was once the great Watchtower of Amon Sûl. We'll stop there tonight.  
(Aragorn and the hobbits walk to the front of the stage. The curtain closes momentarily. The hobbits start dropping their bags on the side of the stage. The hobbits flop on the ground, exhausted. Aragorn unrolls a bundle of fabric. Sheathed swords fall out.)  
Aragorn: Guys, come over here.  
(The hobbits crawl about two paces before giving up. Aragorn starts tossing the swords at the hobbits.)  
Aragorn: These are for you. Keep them close.  
Merry: Hey, watch where you're throwing those! You could hurt a hobbit!  
Aragorn: I'm going to look around. Stay here. Don't do anything stupid.  
(He leaves the stage as the curtain reopens to Weathertop at night. The hobbits pick up their swords and look at them a moment. Frodo goes to sleep as the other hobbits move to center stage and start making a fire and cooking.)  
Merry: My tomato burst!  
Pippin: Can I have some bacon? I want bacon.  
Merry: Want a tomato, Sam?  
(Frodo wakes back up and starts freaking out.)  
Frodo: What the heck are you guys doing?  
Merry: Tomatoes, sausages, and nice crispy bacon. We're thinking breakfast for dinner. Want some?  
Sam: Yeah, we saved some for you, Mr. Frodo.  
(Frodo scrambles over to the others.)  
Frodo: Put it out, you idiots! Put it out!  
(He starts doing it himself.)  
Pippin: (Sarcastically.) Oh, nice! Ashes all over my tomatoes!  
Frodo: Strider said not to do anything stupid! That was stupid! Do y'all want those Black Riders to find us?  
(A terrifying scream is heard offstage. The hobbits run to the front of the stage as the curtain closes again. The three Black Riders, including the Witch King, slowly come towards the stage from the audience.)  
Frodo: Run!  
(And the hobbits do so, drawing their swords as the curtain reopens behind them, showing the top of Weathertop. A fog machine turns on, blowing smoke onstage. The Witch King walks onstage from the side as the other Black Riders climb the stairs from the audience. They all draw their swords, too, except for the Witch King. The Black Riders circle in front of the hobbits as the four of them bunch up and move back.)  
Sam: Back, you devils!  
(He starts fighting one of the Black Riders and gets knocked over. Merry and Pippin move to fill the gap Sam left. They get tossed aside, too. Frodo drops his sword and scrambles backwards, pulling the Collar out of his actual pocket. The Witch King looks toward Frodo. Then he pulls his sword out, too, and makes his way towards the hobbit. Up against the wall now, Frodo puts the Collar on. The Witch King pulls off his hood to show a thin, ghostly man with a large crown. Music starts: Styx's "Renegade."  
Frodo: Oh, mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm from the law. Lawman has put an end to my running, and I'm so far from my home.  
Witch King and Black Riders: Oh, mama, I can hear you are cryin'. You're so scared and all alone. Hangman is comin' down from the gallows, and I don't have very long.  
(Frodo screams as he's stabbed in the shoulder by the Witch King. Aragorn screams as he jumps onstage, coming to the rescue, carrying a torch.)  
Frodo: The jig is up, the noose is out, they've finally found me: The renegade who had it made, retrieved for a bounty. Never more to go astray, this'll be the end today of the wanted man.  
(Frodo takes the Collar off and puts it in his pocket. The Witch King drops his sword and puts his hood back on. Aragorn keeps fighting the Black Riders.)  
Aragorn: Oh, mama, I've been years on the lam and had a high price on my head. Lawman said get 'em dead or alive. Now it's for sure he'll see me dead.  
Frodo and Aragorn: Dear mama, I can hear you are cryin'. You're so scared and all alone. Hangman is comin' down from the gallows, and I don't have very long.  
Sam, Merry, and Pippin: The jig is up, the noose is out, they've finally found me: The renegade who had it made, retrieved for a bounty. Never more to go astray, the judge will have revenge today on the wanted man.  
(As Aragorn fights the Black Riders, they all take a quick break to play air guitar on their swords. Except for the Witch King, who plays regular air guitar.)  
Sam: Frodo?  
Frodo: SAM!  
(Sam scrambles to Frodo's side. The fight continues.)  
All onstage: Oh, mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm from the law. Hangman is comin' down from the gallows, and I don't have very long.  
(As the last verses are sung, Aragorn burns each of the Black Riders, one by one, and they leave the stage, one by one. Merry and Pippin make their way over to Frodo.)  
Frodo: The jig is up, the noose is out, they've finally found me...  
Sam: The renegade who had it made, retrieved for a bounty...  
Merry: Never more to go astray...  
Pippin: This'll be the end today of the wanted man...  
Aragorn: The wanted man.  
(Music ends. Frodo is in a lot of pain.)  
Sam: Strider!  
(Aragorn runs over.)  
Sam: Help him, Strider!  
Aragorn: He's been stabbed by a Morgul blade.  
(He picks it up and looks at it. The blade dissolves, leaving only the hilt. Aragorn drops it again.)  
Aragorn: This is beyond my medical knowledge. He needs help from the Elves.  
(He picks Frodo up and starts to carry him offstage. The other hobbits follow. The curtain closes.)


End file.
